Psychology Simplified and Applied by Walking the Talk is Vital to Success
Learning the psychology surrounding a particular character trait or behavioural problem is without doubt a vital first step towards achieving change in oneself. Yet, if for a single moment, we forget that the feature we are trying to change has been patterned into our behaviour, then achieving permanent change in the way we behave becomes less and less likely.
Our learning identifies for us the way we are, but it does not of itself initiate change in us. Only by applying ourselves – to walk the talk- does that occur.
The mistake is made in various forms. We can imagine that we behave as we do because we do not “know” any better! Yet, we quite often know exactly how we are behaving and how it causes the adverse effects we would like to rid ourselves of! In fact, if we are comfortable with our existing behaviour, privately acknowledging it to be unhelpful, the irony is we can be caused to defend it even more vehemently when we know we could change!
To accept that a thought about change does not of itself change our behaviour permanently is a key admission. It is not until we can reach a way of thinking that predominates in our minds in relation to given situations and paints the way that we feel and believe that we want to behave, does thinking begin to impact on behaviour.
Only then do we begin to walk the talk. Only then do we apply the psychology and begin to break down the previous adverse pattern.
So being aware of a short-coming is the first step. Acknowledging it in our minds as such a short-coming is the second. Ascertaining and internalising on its history, maybe from our childhood or an early relationship is the third. Acquiring guidance from a counsellor or from one of the many excellent books published on virtually every aspect of human behaviour is the fourth.
The fifth step is a touch more challenging: to decipher under the guidance of the counsellor or the author the best course of action to cure it
Remarkable it is how many then just leave it at that! The thorough investigation completed: the sixth step – the action to apply the results never started.
Imagine suffering more and more from inexplicable back or pelvic pain. Imagine seeking professional help. Visualise the specialist examining you thoroughly. Then see him or her opening a door in the consulting room to reveal a long corridor. He or she asks you to walk the length of the corridor and then walk back.
Back at the desk, you are told exactly what’s wrong. It is not due to illness. For some reason you have learned to walk with both your right hip and shoulder ahead of your left hip and finally your body is objecting to the twist.
Now can you hear the medical caution! “If you think that by knowing that, you will now walk correctly, you are much mistaken! We have to re-pattern the way you have learned to walk since you stood up and took your first steps, Can it be done? Absolutely! But you need to want “to walk the talk!”
The strength of cognitive patterning is extraordinary. It can impact on us in all manner of behavioural ways. Yet so is our ability to change them if we want to take the steps to achieve that.
Do remember that so much more can be achieved if you want to than if you feel you have to. There are more articles on Ezine on this and this is covered in eBook soon to be published by Gerry Neale who can be reached on http://cognitivementors.blogspot.com and http://psychologysimplified.blogspot.com.